VII. Beloved
​
If my emotions are You,
Then why do they come with such heaviness?
If my mind is You,
Why does it bring such deceit?
If my emptiness is You,
Then why is it so well disguised?
If my body is You,
Why does it plague me with this fatigue?
Where has the seed become spoilt
When yesterday I stood strong in your arms
Beloved
How did I lose You
After such a short glimpse of Your Love
Beloved
To be Loved by You left me needing nothing else
So why does my mind seek validation
From those who do not honour Your name
How has this sadness
Been born from such delight
How did the roots turn rotten
At one rising of the moon
The call only to separate
From them
So that I might be closer
to You
Because once more I find myself alone
Surrounded by hundreds
And each time
I think I am strong enough
And each time I deceive myself
For I cannot survive where You are not present
I cannot survive where there is not Your love
How I long to sail across the sea
To face my fears in solitude
Brings me closer to Your love
That is in my heart
VIII. Sacrifice
The tunnel is darker than I anticipated
And I know this is Your work
I know this is my sacrifice
My devotion is still unfaltering
The emotions weigh heavy in my heart
My tears fall upon Your pages
Sacred tears of an Angel
My heart simply empties
So that it may be replaced with Yours
Never could I speak of such majesty
Never could I trust another
To comprehend what I feel for You
Unless they reside in Your heart beside me
I must continue to walk my path
Words bring only further grief
Let me sink into death
So that I might feel your Love
In Wholeness once more
IX. If only
Beloved, I trust that you have my best interests at heart
Even if right now, it is hard to see
My sacred faith remains
Though my mind is persistent in fighting it
It brings me fear
When you bring only solutions
To the challenges you set
To strengthen my Soul
If only I could not hear its taunting
If the poison was cleansed
And replaced with the emptiness
In which You reside
If only
X. Give me Your Grace
My mission here
To see through the deception of the mind
That I might be free in all of my doings
That I would not fear discomfort
That the experience itself
Would become the comfort zone
Regardless of what surrounds me
It feels like a long way to travel
But is it so far?
Of course not, it is already here
In the depths of my surrender to You
There is my peace amidst any adversity
I will reach it only in silence
Not the silence of my environment
But the silence within
Behind the mind
Underneath it all
That is where I find, You and I
I will fight it no longer
Give me Your Grace